You still sometimes say that you want to be better for me, that you want things to be like they used to. I used to believe that. Believe you. That things would work out as long as I behaved or changed myself like you wanted me to. It feels different this time. I think I've been told one too many times that I'm the problem, that my mere existence is the issue. I still long for things to be like they used to, but I know now that they won't ever be. I can never have you like I did before. 

Not much longer now. I promise I'll find a way to leave so that you can heal.