I mentioned my nervous energy. This feeling of energy pent up with nowhere to go. How it makes me feel like I don't even have an appetite. You said maybe I should try a bland diet. I agreed. 

But I know what this feeling is. I've had it before. The last time I fell for someone and then they got bored of me and left. This is all the same as it was then, with one main distinction. Back then, I had only known him for a few months. It wasn't like this. Not a full relationship. For a year and a half. With my entire heart given to you. 

I'm so afraid. I don't even know how to cope with the idea of things ending, let alone actually being on the other side of it. But I know I can't stop it. I've done everything I could. Everything. Exhausted myself. Burnt myself out. For over a year. 

I did it for you. It didn't make a difference. I can no longer continue.